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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month! We hope that we can provide you with resources necessary to your own healing via this newsletter or via our services in the community. Please reach out to us on our First Call line, listed below, if you have any further questions!

Thank you, again, to everyone who showed up and contributed to the Domestic Abuse Project’s Annual Fundraising Event. For the first time in DAP’s history, we surpassed our fundraising goal of $185,000. Thank you for making the event such a success this year. Missed our Annual Fundraising Event? It’s not too late to check it out! Click the image above.

The Cycle of Abuse

Learn more about the cycle of abuse via the image above. Think you might be in an abuse relationship? Reach out to our First Call phone line to discuss how we might help you end the cycle of abuse— 612-874-7063 x 232.

Watch Kristin’s Story

Kristin came to DAP to learn how to get out of her abusive relationship. She credits the Domestic Abuse Project with changing not only her life, but the life of her brother, and her son. Click the image above to watch Kristin’s story.

Compelling Reasons Survivors Stay in Abuse Relationships

The one question people often ask victims/survivors of domestic abuse is: “Why do/did you stay in an abusive relationship?” Sometimes the question is meant as an honest inquiry. But often it is spoken with an undercurrent of hostility or disbelief (“It couldn’t have been that bad, you must have liked it,” or “If you really wanted to leave, you would have”).  

At the same time that the dominant culture sends the message that individuals who stay in abusive relationships are somehow to blame for their abuse, it also sends equally powerful messages that they are expected to fill roles in their relationships that keep them dependent on their partners. This powerful combination of messages sets survivors up to feel ashamed, isolated, and stuck. They may feel they have no real choices. 

The following list is a composite of views from survivors who, in our groups over the years, responded to our question “What keeps survivors in abusive relationships?” 

1. A survivor may fear their partner’s actions if they leave.

2. The effects of abuse may make it difficult to leave.

3. A survivor may have concerns about their children.

4. A partner’s attempts to isolate a survivor may make it difficult for them to leave or get help.

5. A survivor’s personal history may have shaped their attitude toward abuse in relationships.

6. A survivor may be deeply attached to their partner and hope for change.

7. Survivors are taught that it is their job to maintain the relationship and support their partners, so they may feel guilty about leaving or feel they have ‘failed.’

8. Survivors may be economically dependent on their partners or their partners may be economically dependent on them.

9. The dominant culture sends the message that a person’s value depends on them being in a relationship. People without partners tend to be devalued.

Think you might be in an abusive relationship? Call our First Call line 612-874-7063 x 232 to see if we can be a resource to you.

One more day to support the Domestic Abuse Project by visiting any Smack Shack location! Smack Shack and Indeed Brewing are partnering to support families that have been impacted by domestic violence during the month of October— Domestic Violence Awareness Month! Proceeds from the purchase of any Indeed Beer at any of the Smack Shack locations will go to the Domestic Abuse Project. We hope you are able to show up to support!

Are you in need of support at this time?

Reach our First Call line at 612-874-7063 x232.

Interested in supporting our work? Click the link below.