Staff Spotlight
Naajee Dennis
Naajee is the Victim Survivor and Youth Program Supervisor at DAP. Today, she is sharing her wisdom about what it means to “know yourself.” She talks about how to tell when you’re dysregulated, tips for practicing mindfulness, and so much more.
DAP: What is your name, your pronouns, and your role at DAP?
Naajee: My name is Naajee Dennis, and I use she/her pronouns. I'm the Victim Survivor and Youth Program Supervisor at DAP.
DAP: Can you talk about what you do as the Youth Program Supervisor?
Naajee: I help to organize everything that comes with working with youth, clinicians, and therapists. I talk about developmentally appropriate interventions with kids and how to interact with parents. I also create youth group curriculum to bring emotional regulation interventions to working with kids in a fun and interactive way. It’s important to honor their need for play and the need for skill development and emotional expression.
DAP: What does it mean to you to truly know yourself?
Naajee: I think to truly know yourself is to know that you're always evolving. It’s taking a step back to reflect and to see who I am now in this moment—because I might be different than who I was a year ago or even a month ago.
It’s also looking at the other people around you and what they're giving you feedback on. With a grain of salt, though, because I strongly believe that 75% of what people say to you has nothing to do with you. And you can figure out what you can do with the other 25% to better yourself. To self-reflect, we have to slow down. We have to stop and take time consciously to look at: who do I want to be? What are the behaviors and emotions and thought processes that are coming up for me? Do they align with where I want to be and who I want to show to the world?
DAP: How can we teach kids self-reflection and self-regulation?
Naajee: I think parents and adults are the models. So, the more that parents are showing that they're self-reflecting, the easier it is for kids to do that. The kids, I find, are more easily self-reflective than adults because of how their brain is hardwired. Often, it's not that kids aren't self-reflecting. It's that they're not given the space and time to be heard about what they're feeling and what they think.
As adults in their lives, it's our job to make space for them to do that self-reflection and not to judge it—to allow them space to say, I feel this way, or you made me feel this way, and then have an open dialogue about it. What are the next steps?
DAP: Why is mindfulness an important practice for those who have experienced domestic violence and for people in general?
Naajee: Going back to the society of hyper speed and maximum productivity, mindfulness helps us to reground. When we're always on the go, there's no time to self-reflect, so it’s important to have rituals and small practices throughout the day.
For example, when I drive home from work, I don't listen to music so I can just be centered on my thoughts and the things that are coming up for me. Often, we talk about self-care as these lavish massages or vacations, but those things aren't always sustainable. And the thing that sustains a mindset of mindfulness and self-awareness is the little things we must do out of discipline.
Think about your morning routine. Is part of it that you need to sit on your patio and drink your cup of coffee and not listen to anything else but the birds? That's mindfulness. It could also look like, I have five kids and it's loud all the time, but at some point, I'm going to tune them out so I can have five minutes to myself.
When there's trauma and abuse that's present, it can feel overwhelming to try to even reach for well-being. But it's the small things. It's all the small things that add up.
DAP: What are ways that you stay grounded in your work as a therapist and also as a human being?
Naajee: For me to stay grounded in my work, I'm always checking in with myself when I'm in sessions. Is this my emotion or is this someone else's? How did I feel before this person walked in the room? I can allow myself to be empathetic, but not feel like I must carry the burdens of other people.
I leave work at work. When I go home, I'm done. I don't take the stories with me. I have a closed down routine for myself: I’m going to wash my dishes, turn off my lights, walk around the building, and go talk to somebody. Then I'll leave.
At the end of the day, I lean into my faith. I believe there’s a higher source that's bigger than me that will support the people that I'm working with. I can't solve the world's problems. And if I take them on, then I'll be burnt out. And then I won't be able to help anyone.
DAP: How can you tell when you're dysregulated?
Naajee: It can be different for everybody. Your body is usually a good first indicator. You might sweat. Your heart might beat faster. Your legs might tap. You may have less patience for other people. Your facial expressions are also usually a good indicator, too. Our pupils can get bigger. Think of yourself in traffic when somebody upsets you. Usually, people get dysregulated in those moments. How do you reset yourself?
Often when we're dysregulated, our brain has gone into fight or flight, freeze or fawn. Fighting can look like the two-year-old who's having a tantrum. In adults, it can look like arguing and hitting. The flight part could be I just need to get out of here. The fawn piece looks like people-pleasing, thinking, I'll just make sure that everybody else feels good.
You don't necessarily have a choice when your amygdala takes over. If a bear is chasing you, you're just trying to survive. You're not thinking, what do I do next? Your brain is taking over and telling you to play dead, maybe, or that you need to try to fight this off. You do whatever your brain thinks is going to keep you safe.
DAP: How can we promote moments of mindfulness in our community?
Naajee: One of the things that communities do that is just beautiful is when they put paintings on the ground in roundabouts. That’s a mindfulness technique—the whole point of those is to get people to slow down driving. Your eye is now gazing at something beautiful. Adding more art into our life is mindfulness and grounding because art makes you slow down. The nature of an artist is to not have a deadline.
DAP: What is your favorite part about working for DAP?
Naajee: I love group work, honestly. I think people heal better together. I think people who have had similar experiences are way wiser than one therapist. I love that aspect of people learning from each other and knowing that we all have wisdom to bring. Each of our lived experiences has taught us something that we can give to someone else. We can have a good laugh in group, with individual clients, or with staff, and that’s also a form of healing. Hard things can happen, and joy can live there, too. Both things can be true
DAP: What Olympic sport would you do if you could do any of them?
Naajee: I was a gymnast growing up, so I love gymnastics. But I don't think I would want to be an Olympic gymnast because it's just too much pressure. Since they brought softball back to the Olympics, and I played softball in college, I think I would choose that. It's a team sport, so it’s not as strenuous and nerve-wracking because you can lean on other people…And less people watch it!
BONUS: visit our Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok to watch Naajee take you through a grounding exercise called “5,4,3,2,1.” All socials are linked below!
