This month’s newsletter has lots in store for you: stories of leadership in the advocacy field, a podcast interview with Kaleena Burkes (Director of the Office for Missing and Murdered Black Women and Girls), DV myths and facts, an interview with DAP’s office manager Lydia Kline, DAP in community, and more! Cozy in with your favorite blanket, a mug of tea, and read on!

Community Spotlight: Women Leaders

We are so fortunate to have many powerful women in the Twin Cities who are working to realize a community that is free from gender-based and intimate partner violence. Whether these women show up through leadership, creativity, or advocacy, they are all doing impressive work that DAP wants to highlight.

Lori Greene

Lori Greene is a local mosaic artist who was a major contributor to the Survivors’ Memorial in Boom Island Park, the very first memorial of its kind to honor victims and survivors of sexual assault. DAP had a chance to visit her beautiful studio a few months ago, Mosaic on a Stick, where Greene has created a beautiful community. Her colorful walls are filled with mosaic pieces made by folks of all ages and places of origin. Art is an extraordinarily powerful and accessible form of activism; Greene uses her talents to not only bring awareness to the issue of domestic and gender-based violence, but to also offer comfort and solidarity to those who have experienced it. You can visit Greene’s website to view more of her work here.

Director Kaleena Burkes

Kaleena Burkes is the very first director of the Office of Missing and Murdered Black Women and Girls. She is an extremely compassionate, intelligent, and strong leader. “Before being appointed as MMBWG director, Burkes spent nearly seven years working in various roles at the state’s Guardian ad Litem Board. While there, she led organizational development by implementing racial equity and advocacy initiatives. She also addressed training needs throughout the state to improve outcomes for families and children involved in juvenile and family court proceedings” [1]…Burkes works with the MMBWG office to collect data, review cases and sentencing guidelines, as well as fight for legislation that protects African American Women and Girls. The office will continue to uncover the causes for the epidemic of missing African American Women and Girls, as well as implement solutions to put an end to the issue. Check out an interview podcast with Director Burkes below!

Remembering Ellen Pence

Ellen Pence (April 15, 1948 – January 6, 2012) was a queer scholar and social activist who co-founded the Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in 1980 (also known as the Duluth Model), which is a community-based, inter-agency protocol for intimate partner violence used across several organizations in the nation to this day. Her efforts greatly changed the narrative and response to domestic violence, particularly by taking blame off of victim survivors through holding abusers accountable for their actions. One tool that was constructed within the Duluth Model is the Power and Control Wheel, which DAP utilizes in our programming. “Pence was a pioneer in creating and promoting innovative strategies to deal with domestic abuse. The training she developed, and the accessible and motivational way in which she delivered it, changed the way violence towards women and children in the home is viewed” (The Guardian).

DAP Podcast Episode 3: Director Kaleena Burkes

Check out this incredibly informative conversation between Director Burkes and DAP as we uncover the root cause of violence against African American women and girls, unpack disparities in the healthcare system, and discover how we can uplift MMBWG’s work to end the epidemic of missing and murdered Black women and girls in Minnesota.

DV Myths and Truths

MYTH: 

“If someone is really being abused, wouldn’t they just leave?”   

TRUTH: 

There are many reasons why an individual may stay in an abusive relationship, and discounting the complexity of the situation invalidates the victim’s experience. Abuse is rarely seen at the beginning of a relationship, but rather when the relationship is already established, making it harder for the victim to leave. It is not uncommon for an individual experiencing abuse to still love their partner and want the violence, not the relationship, to end. It is also not uncommon for a victim to be afraid for their safety, or their children’s safety, if they were to leave. People who use abuse will utilize tactics like financial control and isolation, making it difficult for their victim to have access to resources and emotional supports once they leave.

MYTH: 

“Well, I don’t really think she’s the only one being abused. Their relationship is toxic; it’s mutually abusive.” 

TRUTH: 

This narrative doesn’t take the history of the relationship into account. While it is possible for both partners to have unhealthy behaviors, it is important to look at complex factors, such as power dynamics, and how those can shape a relationship. For example, while a victim of abuse may engage in an act of violence, this could be to get back at their partner, to get their partner to stop being abusive to them, or self-defense.

MYTH:  

“But he isn’t hitting her or physically harming her, so it’s not abuse—don’t all relationships have arguments and conflicts?” 

TRUTH: 

There are several types of abuse: physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, digital/technological abuse, financial abuse, and abuse by immigration status, to name a few. Yes, all relationships have conflict, but there are healthy and unhealthy ways to engage in conflict. All forms of abuse cause deep psychological harm, not just physical abuse. Often, victims report that emotional abuse is the longest lasting and most difficult to heal from. 

MYTH: 

“He’s usually such a nice guy. Maybe she provoked him?” 

TRUTH: 

This myth blames the victim and absolves the partner using abusive behavior from accountability. Abuse and violence are never the victim’s fault. Using violence is a choice.

MYTH: 

“That’s not our business; it’s a private family matter.” 

TRUTH: 

When we describe domestic and gender-based violence as a private family matter, we minimize it and allow it to continue to happen. Domestic violence is a public safety issue; it does not discriminate, and no one is immune to it. Domestic violence has a ripple effect and impacts family, friend groups, the workplace, and the larger community. A stark example of this is the intersection of domestic violence and mass shootings. Around 68% of mass shooters either killed their family and intimate partners, or they have a history of domestic violence.

MYTH: 

“Men who abuse women are suffering from mental illness.” 

TRUTH: 

Using violence is a choice, and myths like this continue to excuse the behavior. There is also no evidence that supports this myth. Violent behaviors can be unlearned with accountability, support, and implementing healthier coping mechanisms.  

*If you, or someone you know, is using abuse, know that help and support is available. Contact DAP at 612-874-7063 x 232, or firstcall@mndap.org if calling is not a safe option. 

Missing and Murdered Indigenous Relatives (MMIR) March

In 2024, over 700 Indigenous people went missing in Minnesota and close to 60% were women. On Friday, February 14th, despite cold weather and snow, hundreds of Indigenous Relatives, advocates, and allies showed up to the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Relatives March. This protest march was intended to honor the lives of missing and murdered Indigenous women, men, children, Two Spirit, and LGBTQIA+ relatives, as well as bring awareness to this issue. The DAP team was honored to participate in this march. When we say “not one more,” we mean not one more. All of us have a responsibility to end the epidemic of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Relatives. Thanks to Minnesota Indian Women’s Sexual Assault Coalition for coordinating a powerful event. Check out a reel of the DAP team at the event here!

Action Day

On Monday, February 10th, anti-violence coalitions, advocates, victim survivors, and allies gathered in the State Capitol Rotunda for Action Day, calling for the prioritization of funding for victim services. The Victims of Crime Act (VOCA) is facing major cuts, making anti-violence organizations unable to access necessary funding to continue their services. DAP was honored to be a part of Action Day, standing in solidarity with the Minnesota Indian Women’s Sexual Assault Coalition @miwsac, Violence Free Minnesota @violencefreemn, Mending the Sacred Hoop @mendingthesacred, The Minnesota Children’s Alliance, the Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault @mcasaorg, and the Minnesota Alliance on Crime @mnallianceoncrime. Victim services ARE public safety! If you missed the event, you can livestream it using the link here.

Staff Spotlight

Lydia Kline

Lydia Kline is our warm, bubbly, and caring superstar of an office manager! She is extremely creative and makes a mean macaroon. Lydia is always trying new bakery creations and leaving them in the staff breakroom, bringing joy to the DAP staff on a weekly basis. Check out this interview with Lydia where she talks about her role at DAP, what living in Alaska (her home state) is like, and gives us a sneak peek of the next treat she is planning.

DAP: What is your name, your pronouns, and your role at DAP?  

My name is Lydia Kline. I am the office manager here at DAP, so I sit behind the desk, answer all the phone calls, and my pronouns are she/her/hers.  

DAP: What exactly do you do in your role as the Office Manager, and what have been some of your favorite skills to develop?  

So, there is a lot of administrative work. I do a lot of the behind-the-scenes kind of stuff, but then another big part of my role is I am the first person that a lot of people see when they come into the space. I’m the first person they talk to often if they’re calling the phone. The biggest skill that I’ve had to develop—which a lot of people say I come by naturally—is just being personable, kind, [and] creating a welcoming environment. My mindset around that is just people are coming here for a service, so let’s try to give them the best service that we can.  

DAP: What can you tell us about living in Alaska?  

I think my favorite thing about living in Alaska was just the access to nature, but also there was a really great sense of community. These communities are a lot smaller, and a lot more cut off from other things. In both of the communities that I lived in...one was on an island, so there were no roads; there wasn’t any possibility for roads out. But the other, which is the state capital [Juneau], even though it’s on the mainland, there just aren’t any roads connecting it to any other places. You are with who you’re with, and I think that fosters a really wonderful sense of community that I miss.  

DAP: Do you have any fun creative pursuits or other hobbies that take up your time outside of work?  

I love to craft, and I also love to bake! I know a lot of people have been reaping the benefits here at the office of my baking skills. I was gifted a KitchenAid for Christmas this year, so I’ve been using that a lot and I’ve really been enjoying baking. I’ve been getting into bagels recently and that’s been really fun; I love working with the dough...I also love doing kind of handcrafts, so I just started an embroidery project on some old jeans that I'm kind of just doing some stitching on. I’m born with that audacity of like, I don’t need to look it up, I can just try to do it, so that’s what I’m going for right now with that project.  

DAP: What is the next bakery treat you will be sharing with staff? 

That is a good question, probably bagels. I don’t think that I brought bagels in yet... They’re actually a lot easier than they seem to be!

DAP is Seeking Board Members!

DAP envisions a community free of domestic abuse where families experience healthy, safe and equal relationships. Our mission is to build communities free from violence by providing holistic healing for every member of the family.

We are seeking new board members who align with our mission and vision. We are eager to work with folks who are interested in using their voice to be an ambassador for DAP in their communities. We are hoping to engage people from different backgrounds and work experiences to continue to help us ensure access to healing for all.

If interested in joining our board, please reach out to governance@mndap.org for more information. We look forward to having you on our board!

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